Suddenly, a pint sized woman I've never met before infiltrates the peaceful familiarity that surrounds me. She sits down in one of the 7 chairs for the 7 people in the circus van I've come in. We stare at her. We look around at each other for some sort of indication as to who she may be. Every face is filled with wonder.
"Hi...?" I say, trying to obtain some information as to who this woman may be. "Are you camping here?"
"Yes," she says in a very thick Russian accent, "over there," she points to a campsite next to ours, but separated by a very thick wooded area.
"Oh! How did you sleep?" I ask.
"Awful. You woke me from nap." She snapped back.
"I see," I reply, instantly filled with anger for this woman. "Is that why you're here? Sitting in our chair, around our campfire?"
"Yes."
Worried looks and nervous silence fills the air, with the exception of this impostor and myself whose gaze has yet to leave one another. And very out of character, I offer, "well, we quiet ourselves at night to allow people to sleep, however, we have no control over when you take your nap."
"Ask for a site reassignment," Craig offers.
"That's good idea," she answers, "you should do that."
"He meant you, not us" I clarify.
A band is due to play near by. A famous band. At this point the van has been moved to the side of the road in a little town. Two women, including the pint sized Russian who'd stopped by our campsite before, stop and open the door of the van to look in. Without hesitation, they climb inside, unaware that I am in the back.
"You shouldn't be in here," I warn.
"I'd like to see you make me leave," she retorts.
"If you don't get out on your own, I will happily assist you."
She sits in the seat in front of me, and buckles herself in. She folds her arms, and with eyes of defiant determination, stares ahead. I climb in front of her, slide my left arm behind her back, and my right under her knees. I unbuckle her with my right hand, and plop her outside.
"Have a nice day!" I say, as they sheepishly walk away.
I begin to close and lock up the van, suddenly alone. The band is on the other side of the street playing my favorite song.
I climb into the front seat looking for an electric lock. The driver door is ajar, and resting at the base of the window is a small black scorpion. Next to it, and about the size of a silver dollar, is what looks to be two thick, hairy black spiders that have melted together, with a ring of wings around it's crown.
I freeze.
I call over a band mate to help me get them off of the door so I can lock it. He stands about 6ft tall, and is wearing shorts and flip flops. I am in boots.
"You're in boots, and you want me to get them?!"
He slams the door. The winged spider monster flies at me, no doubt to make me his lunch. I scream.
*****************
I wake up. Craig gives me a kiss on the nose, and gently nuzzles my cheek. Surprisingly, I'm in a fantastic mood and wide awake. I tell him the story of my dream, and how it ended with a giant 19 legged halo winged monster flying at me, resulting in a scream. That's when I see it. We sleep in a loft, and a giant black spider is on our roof. We stare at each other, the spider and I. Then, as if he was the beast in the dream, he makes his way toward me. All eight legs running to finish what his dream counterpart couldn't. I jump onto the ladder to make my way down to the safety of the ground floor.
*CRACK*
Craig slowly lowers the plastic water bottle he'd just used to stop the pursuit.
"I just saved your life," he calmly says to me with a look of achievement.
My hero.
